Spicing Up Your Sex Life
Kelvin said his girlfriend likes to role-play. One night she wanted to
dress like a reindeer and make him Santa." She asked, "What would YOU
like to be?" He answered, "I'd like to be a musician and have her be a
Do you have a favorite fantasy "sex script"?" Or is there a
particular sex scene from a movie or book that turns you on? There is nothing
wrong with imaging or acting out fantasies, as long as each partner is into the
scene. Be creative. You have nothing to lose but your inhibitions.
Many people have idiosyncratic sexual desires or fetishes. For instance,
Larry want his girlfriend to take nude pictures of him with her bra on his head.
Carla was excited having sex when other people are around, like in the mall or
parking lot. Fantasies and desires are very revealing. Think about your own;
what do they tell you about yourself? How do your desires make your feel (safe,
secure, risque, rebellious, different)? If you're not hurting anyone, then it's
fine to consider acting out your fantasies or indulging your fetishes. If,
however, you are using this behavior to escape a real relationship and intimacy,
reconsider and focus on some healthier activities.