How Important Is Sex?
Every couple has to decide how important sexual compatibility is in the
relationship. Lust and passion does tend to cool over time, and it often takes
considerable effort to "keep the fires burning."
Face your sex problems head-on. Do you have different sex drives, a sexual
problem (such as premature ejaculation or inability or orgasm), or different
preferences for positions, acts, or fantasies? Are you willing to work on the
sexual aspect of your relationship? If not, then your should probably consider
letting the relationship go. Sex doesn't have to be a top priority in your
relationship but if sex problems are driving you apart or posing you to infidelity,
then there are issues to be addressed.
Finally, examine your dating history. Do you have a pattern of sexual
problems with partners? Is there a specific problem that keeps recurring? Are
you choosing relationships that bring out this problem? Since sex is so
personal, problems in that area can be a smokescreen for other troubles, such as
fear of intimacy or commitment.
Many people take a lover's sexual problem personally . For example, when a
man is having reaction problems, the woman may feel it's her fault, that she's
not attractive enough. Or if a woman is having problems with orgasm, the man may
feel inadequate as a lover. Self-reproach or blame only makes the situation