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Letting Go: The 18 Steps
Step 16. Rebuild trust. Erica's dilemma is common enough: "My first love
stabbed me in the back after I put my complete trust in him. Now I am wary of
people and always protecting myself." Resist generalizing; not all men or
women are alike. See each person as an individual. In your imagination, line up
all those who have hurt you in the past and imagine throwing them in the garbage
or picture them incinerating. Now you have a clean slate. Of course, trust gets
shattered after you're hurt, but try to pout the past aside. If you live in
fear, imagining that people are not trustworthy, this is the reality that you
will create. Accept the challenge of tuning your love antennae to people who are
more trustworthy, and who are worthy of your trust.
Step 17. Welcome your dreams. As Brenda asked, "It's been seven
months since my relationship ended, and I have constant dreams about the
situation. What can I do to stop them?" Instead of seeing your dreams as
obsessions, believe that your mind is trying to work through the pain on a
deeper level.
Step 18. Repair your self-esteem. Amanda's cry is typical: "My boyfriend
left after two years. What's wrong with me?" Nothing . Not everyone can
appreciate your value, but you need to continue to do so.
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