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Letting Go: The 18 Steps
Step 3. Instead of bemoaning the end, celebrate it. In this technique, called
"paradoxical intention," you wish the very opposite of what you think
you prefer. Put on some music, uncork the champagne, jump up and down, and yell
"Good riddance to bad rubbish!" Then honor your time alone.
Step 4. Be your own cheerleader. Remind yourself of all the good things about
your. Make a list of those qualities and reread the list.
Step 5. Call all your friends and have them reinflate your ego. Get your pals
on the phone and ask them to remind you of all your wonderful traits. Let them
take your side. When Georgette was dumped, she called her best friend, who
reminded her, "You are beautiful and smart and funny and fun to be
with."
Step 6. Understand the situation realistically. Dee was devastated when her
boyfriend decided not to leave his wife for her. He said he loved her, but was
worried about his kids, his business, and his wife. If she had looked at the
situation realistically from the beginning, she may not have been as devastated.
While she shouldn't punish herself, she should have been prepared for the
possibility.
Step 7. Be realistic about dating in general. While I certainly feel that you
should pump yourself up, don't expect that everybody will love you.
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