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Letting Go: The 18 Steps
Step 1. Practice thought-stopping. It's normal to have recurring
thoughts about your ex. One way to wean yourself is to decide on a specific time
of day where you will give yourself over to the thoughts (such as nine o'clock
at night, for 10 minutes). If you find yourself obsessing at other times, force
yourself to "change the channel" in your brain, or pick yourself up
and do something constructive -- take a walk, water the plants, clean out a
closet. Try this exercise: Think about your ex. Now think about being in love
with someone else. Now think about your ex. Now think about getting a raise at
work. Now think about laughing with a new friend. Now think about a pink elephant.
See how you can control your thoughts?
Step 2. Recognize the quality that you miss in your ex and find a substitute
for it. Focus on the qualities you liked in your ex. Was he funny? Great in bed?
A good listener? Realize that these aren't such unusual traits-- they do come
along in other people, and you will encounter them more than once in a lifetime.
Enjoy those qualities in other people or find other ways to enjoy them. Go to
funny movies, or take up a sport yourself.
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