Psyching Yourself Up
If your mind instantly fills with images of tripping over your own feet,
getting spaghetti sauce on your shirt, or, worse, feeling stupid about not
knowing what to say, relax. A first date is bound to be fraught with some
anxieties. Here are some ways to calm yourself down while psyching yourself up:
- Remember our basic principle: Treat the date as simply a way to get to
know each other better, having a good time together, sharing an experience, and
learning about yourself and each other.
- Remind yourself that your date already likes something about you, or he
wouldn't have agreed to go out in the first place.
- You don't want to drive yourself crazy thinking about your upcoming date
too much, but as with everything in life, a little pre-planning goes a long way.
Think through where you will go and what you will wear, and make some mental
notes about what interesting things you might want to talk about. Then put it
out of your mind. Don't keep changing your mind or trying to make things
- If you are excited about the particular person, indulge fleeting
thoughts or fantasies about how you want things to go, or how terrific if would
be if it all worked out. Then remind yourself to stay grounded in reality, and
curb your expectations.
- Resist worrying about what would happen if things don't work out.
- You can allow yourself a fleeting sad thought about the frustrations of
dating, but avoid over-generalizing that nothing ever works out anyway.