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Turning Friends into Lovers
"I like this person but how do I make him/her my boyfriend without
ruining the friendship?"
Friendship is the best basis for love. So I find it charming when people ask
me how they can change a friendship into a romance. It can be tricky -- you have
to be willing to take risk that might put your relationship in jeopardy. Most
people who admit they want something more would rather stay friends than risk
losing what they have. But keep in mind that becoming romantic may not ruin the
friendship; if you take the risk and your friend responds positively, it will strengthen
it. And if your friend does not reciprocate your feelings, at least your know
where you stand and can direct your energies elsewhere. Of course, it's up to
you to gauge whether the potential rewards are worth the gamble -- but I'd
recommend going for it.
It can be tough to broach the subject of attraction with your friend,
especially if you fear that your feelings are not going to be reciprocated. Remember
the saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved
at all." Talk your feelings over, sharing your mutual expectations and
fears. You could have the happiest experience of your life. One man posed the
change this way. He told his friend: "Our friendship is over," and
then, after a pregnant pause during which she was confused and nervous, he
added, " Now, let's try being more than friends."
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