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The Sex/Love split
"How come I can have great sex with a woman but, as soon s I start to
develop feelings for her, I don't get turned on anymore?"
From men: "I like these two women: One is gentle and sweet and the other
is a real tiger in bed. I'm torn. how do i decide between them?"
From women: " I'm dating these two men: One would be the perfect husband
and father -- the kind of guy that my parents would love -- and the other is a
real exciting 'bad boy.' I wish I could mesh them into one guy, but I can't.
What can I do?"
Separating sex and love can lead to an intriguing but disturbing dilemma referred
to as the "Madonna-whore syndrome" in men or the "Daddy-Don Juan
syndrome" in women. Here, the "sufferers" split lovers into
either sweet, nice people or wild, sexy ones. Sex becomes desirable only with
the latter, not the former.
Bill was enamored of Jill, a sweet, gentle woman, who had all the qualities
he wanted in a long-term mate. And she adored him and wanted to marry and start
a family. The problem was, he found her boring in bed. Bill was also seeing Liza,
a woman who had few of the qualities he valued for a wife and mother of his
children, but who really turned him on sexually. Liza was fond of Bill but
wasn't interested in settling down. But every time Bill decided to totally
devote himself to Jim, he ended up calling Liza for a "roll in the
hay."
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