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The Sex/Love split
Men like Bill are compelled to seek a challenge, and often devalue the very
people who most value them. They think they are looking for the
"perfect" person who combines all of the values they supposedly want
with the sexual attraction they crave, but in reality, they can't let one person
be everything to them.
If you recognize yourself in Bill's scenario, it's time to retrain you brain.
Rather than separating sex and love, insist on having one with the other. Take a
look at your relationships: Do you stereotype men as either fathers or lovers
and women as either mothers or lovers? If so, look at your partners clearly. Are
they really so easily pigeon-holed? Allow your mate the opportunity to express
both roles. Communicate all your fantasies, desires, wants, and needs (sexual
and otherwise) and give your mate a chance to fulfill the many sides of you.
Admit that both sex and love are equally important and possible with one
person. Discover that your lover is trusting, honest, steadfast, and a wild
lover. These traits are not mutually exclusive!
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