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Is This Going Anywhere?
Like Jody, nearly all women and men have a distinct concept of what
constitutes a desirable mate. These eligibility criteria extend from background
and personality traits to specific physical characteristics. Many surveys have
proven that 8 out of 10 men put physical characteristics on the to of their
list, while women rate personality as most important, with looks ranking fourth
or lower. Therefore, it is not unsurprising that Jody is more interested in what
this man is like as a person than what he looks like.
While women can still specify details about men they find physically
appealing or unappealing (hair, height, build), they can more easily than men
suspend such judgments when confronted with a suitor who does not fit that type
yet who still captures their heart. Remember the truth of the idiom that looks
fade. Identify those qualities of his that you appreciate, and keep
concentrating on those.
Instead of affection diminishing, as Jody fears, her more substantive
appreciation of this man can grow. In fact, some women have found men who are
initially physically unattractive but personally endearing to actually appear
more handsome over time, as the man treats them well and their intimacy together
grows. Some men these days are getting the hang of this, too.
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