Second Date and Beyond: Where to Go and What to Do

• Vary the places you go together. Spend time together at home, to see how you can adapt to a homey situation together, but also plan some outside social activities, such as at a bowling alley or putting green.
  
  
• Vary the times you are together. Meet in the morning, afternoon, and evening to get a sense of which is the best time for each of you. All of us have preferences for the time we are most awake or alert.
  
  
• Be indoors (at museum or concert) as well as outdoors (a picnic or beach).
  
  
• Include social activities, but also some activities that are mundane. As a relationship develops, people have to take care of simple daily tasks, such as shopping and chores. See how well you adapt to doing these together. Drop off a deposit in the bank machine, or stop into an all-night drug store for that shampoo you ran out of. Ask her to help you buy new sheets. Ask him to help you fix a leaky faucet.
  
  
• Come up with ideas on your own, but ask for the other person's suggestions. In addition, welcome some disagreements (for example, he wants to go for Italian food but you prefer Japanese that night) so that you can see how you negotiate and resolve differences.

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